If you want someone to do something that they currently do not want to do, or you want to sway their opinion, there are three primary paths you can take. You can either use persuasion, coercion, or deceit. As human beings, we have an inherent desire to exercise our own choice and to not be acted upon. Even if changing a certain behavior would do us good, we have to be the ones who consciously choose that particular behavior. If we are forced or deceived into doing something that is for our own good, we do so without first gaining the understanding of why that behavior is beneficial. It is certainly possible to acquire that knowledge later on, but experience has shown that coercion more often leads to resentment, stubbornness, or distrust.
Coercion and deceit lead to resentment and resistance
Why must people feel so resentful against coercion, even if they themselves are convinced in the end that the coercion was for their own good? Because interfering in our autonomy interferes with our ability to understand the reality of the world we live in, and thus suppresses our ability to survive and thrive. As humans, we are constantly bartering with our future selves. We make our best effort to determine what needs to be done today and how much we need to discount the future; not just a single point in the future, but every point in the future.
This requires a decent amount of calculation. We might not even realize that we are doing it, but we are doing it all the same. No one knows better about how to barter with your future self than you. Because of this, and because we live in a world full of uncertainty, autonomy is of paramount importance. Whether we do so tacitly or deliberately, we make careful, calculated decisions every day so that we can better our lot today and simultaneously better our lot for the future.
When something is coerced upon us, we do not know what this new coercion brings. This introduces chaos and jeopardizes the carefully crafted plans that will see us through today and forward to the future. We naturally want to resist the coercion as much as possible and try to reject the unwanted chaos from our lives.
If we merely complied with every form of coercion, our lives would be thrust into continuous chaos. We would not be able to effectively barter with our future selves, because we would always be at the mercy of something else we do not understand. In a world full of uncertainty, we are already trying to deal with the chaos that we cannot control. Accidents, death, and natural disasters introduce chaos into our lives. Because we know we have no influence over such things, and because the whole of human experience gives us an appropriate amount of data from which can approximate the risk, we can barter with our future selves to reasonably prepare for unexpected events.
While it is also expected for us to encounter unwanted forms of coercion in our lives, this form of chaos is introduced into our lives on a level over which we have far greater influence. We cannot fight against death or natural disaster, but we can fight against members of the same species who want to force us to do something against our will. Because this form of chaos is introduced by peers, we recognize that we have a chance in eliminating it from our lives, and thus we make efforts to resist.
Persuasion is powerful
Persuasion on the other hand seeks to minimize the amount of chaos when introducing a new concept or behavior into another person’s life. With anything new, there is always a measure of accompanying uncertainty, but this uncertainty is addressed by attempts to increase understanding or through incentives. When we use persuasion instead of coercion or deceit, we are much less likely to provoke resistance from our target. Persuasion recognizes that individuals are best suited to determine their specific needs, and only by understanding the knowledge or desires of other individuals are we best able to alter our calculations to optimize for our well-being. In this way, persuasion is superior to coercion from a sort of Kantian ethical perspective. The ends of getting someone to do what you want are not attained at the expense of sacrificing that person’s decision-making abilities which are necessary for well-being.
Instead of inciting resentment, persuasion builds trust and respect between parties. While an effort to persuade someone today might fail, the buildup of trust can be beneficial in persuading someone tomorrow. Coercion on the other hand may work today, but the buildup of resentment will make both persuasion and coercion more difficult tomorrow. In this regard, persuasion is also superior to coercion from a long-term utilitarian perspective. As trust and respect grows between individuals, beneficial information spreads more easily to those who need it, and desired behaviors are more readily adopted.
Persuasion is superior to coercion and deceit. Humans need to retain their individual autonomy in order to develop skills and understanding necessary for thriving in a world filled with uncertainty. Coercion compromises our individual autonomy, which thus compromises the cognitive processes we rely on to survive, and is therefore often met with some form of resistance. In addition, coercion and deceit are detrimental to building trust.
Persuasion on the other hand respects individual autonomy and is less likely to undermine trust. It does not seek to interfere on individual freedom, but is instead an effort to increase understanding. While coercion may be necessary in some cases, persuasive methods ought to be prioritized when trying to alter another person’s behavior or sway their opinions.